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- If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
- Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
- I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
- Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- It’s been so long since I made love I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
- When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has been opened.
- If we take matrimony at its lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.
- I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
- I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I’m looking for anyone with a job that I don’t have to support.